Like Poles Repel ?!

When you rub two things together, friction is generated. Similarly, when you put two or more people together, friction tend to be present due to our different personalities and perspectives.

The following is an actual account that took place 5 years ago. The names of the individuals have been amended though to protect their privacy.

Ariel and Belinda have been the best of friends since secondary one. They were classmates and they even joined the same Co-Curricular activities like the student council and the school choir due to similar interests.
Gradually. their friendship grew stronger as they were spending a lot of time together and they were each other’s pillar of support and encouragement.

During their 4 years in secondary school, both of them tend to set the same goals as they had similar interests.
They both wanted the position (vice-president) in the choir executive committee,
and they went to audition for the lead role in the school’s musical. Both even participated in the annual story telling competition organized by the school.

Ultimately, the results of the competitions ended in favour of Ariel. She was voted as the vice president of the school choir, she won the story telling competition and she managed to land herself a lead role in the school’s musical.

As such, Ariel often shared her joy to Belinda, expecting that she will happy for her but only to realize Belinda often got very distracted and would tend to look away.
Gradually, Ariel felt that Belinda was distancing herself from her. She finally went to talk to Belinda face to face about the distant feeling that she was getting from Belinda.
Belinda told Ariel that it was becoming increasingly difficult being friends with her because she felt very stressed being with someone who is so outstanding.
All that she had wanted, she never had a chance because all the chances were given to Ariel and all these made her felt very inferior.

Ariel felt very hurt and tried explaining things to Belinda that she never meant to vie with Belinda for anything as she was just pursuing what she liked.

“ But it’s not easy being friends with a superwoman like you.”

That was the last thing that Belinda spoke to Ariel.

If you were a friend of the both of them and Ariel came to you for help because she very much want to salvage the friendship that she so cherished,
what suggestions would you offer to help her ?

Something about non-vebal gesture .

This is probably the MOST CONTAGIOUS non verbal gesture.

So, pass that S.M.I.L.E on !!!

( :

For many of us, communication has started in our infancy stage, where it gradually transforms from the “ er, ber, woo” (infant) to the string of words we are often using to communicate now.

Honestly, I probably will never spend time and ponder on the importance of communication because it is so ingrained in our lives.
Little did I realise that the process of communication is
much more complex than it really seems.
It is not just a mere translation of our thoughts into words, body languages etc, but more often on learning to interpret and be interpreted correctly.
However, in many situations, there is often a loss of meaning in the messages transmitted and that is when effective communication comes into play.

Loss of meaning can be attributed to potential sources of errors, which include perceptual biases, cultural differences, and the use of language. These potential errors can cause a message to be interpreted wrongly, hence causing misunderstandings.
For example, a strained working relationship can occur between a boss and his subordinate if a boss misinterpreted his subordinate’s reason of absence in work. Thus, learning to recognize these errors enables us to be objective in interpreting messages.

Having effective communication skills enables us to understand the different communication networks and channels, thus we are better able to choose a more appropraite channel to achieve the best result of communication.
For example, a face to face channel in a semi formal setting will be appropriate in gathering feedback from subordinates on improving the team’s work performance.

Communicating effectively also ensures the maintenance of good interpersonal relationships especially in the event where one needs help.
When we learn to be empathetic and to listen actively, we are then better able to help others. Thus, problems can be solved like in the case of understanding the reasons for a colleague’s work performance discrepancies and suggesting solutions to help.



Thus the way we communicate with others
affects how they respond and feel about
what we have said (or not said! )